How to write a press release
Company X, a leader in the field of [insert meaningless waffle] and Company Y (repeat as before) announce a strategic collaboration (as opposed to non-strategic?) so that some future service that may or may not possibly lead to a development in the field of [insert every single potential target market in order to maximise search results].
Company X will contribute its market leading (but don’t define what market leading means) products to Company Y’s award winning (they won a raffle 10 years ago) services to develop a range of innovative (always innovative) services that will enhance customer experience (because its always an experience, and it always gets better) in the respective markets, while lowering costs and reducing overheads (because building something better that costs more is bad, mkay!)
Analyst Z will now contribute a pithy statement about how large the market being addressed is and how the combined companies are particularly ideal to tap into it.
Company X will deliver a comment from the marketing department CEO, gushing about how wonderful the deal is and how they are in love with Company Y.
Company Y will repeat the above, but with the words mixed around a little.
Include details of press contacts, who will be out of the office the day the press release is sent out.
Company X is the world’s leading provider of meaningless waffle and this paragraph which is supposed to tell you what the company does actually leaves you totally mystified.
Company Y wont be mentioned because this press release came from Company X and the press office forgot to get sign-off on including Company Y’s boilerplate statement.
Here is the financial disclaimer warning that nothing in the statement above should be believed as meaning anything of any substance will happen and please don’t blame them if you buy their shares based on expecting a future product.