Does The Queen have a Boris Bike account?

Silly question to which I am sure the answer is NO, but the TfL website isn’t taking any chances with its feedback form.

I have had a problem with logging in to my Boris Bike account, and being the sort who generally loathes speaking on a telephone, I was relieved to see a feedback form was an option.

Amusingly, instead of having a free text field for your title, they require that you select from a list in a drop down menu, and they have covered almost every possible option available – including Mayor… and HRH.

Heck, they even have an option for Empress in there – even though the only Empress in the entire world at the moment, is Empress Michiko of Japan, who I doubt would be the sort to fill in a complaint form herself. However, having included the Empress of Japan, they oddly excluded the Emperor, which seems a bit rude.

The use of a drop-down fixed menu usually suggests the need for the database to store fixed information for statistics processing, and it is easier to count the “Mr” when “Mr” isn’t spelt as “mr.” or “mister”.

Which, then makes me mischievously ponder wasting tax payer money and filing an FOI request to get a count of each of the titles entered in the contact form to see how many Sheikhs, Princesses, Imans and Mayors have requested help from TfL over the past year.

The full list is below, and can be found here (you need to fill in a complaint and go to a 2nd page to see list).

  • Ms
  • Mr
  • Mrs
  • Miss
  • Dr
  • Cllr
  • Prof
  • Sir
  • Not given
  • Air Cdre
  • Ambassador
  • Baron
  • Baroness
  • Brig Gen
  • Brother
  • Canon
  • Captain
  • Cardinal
  • Cllr Dr
  • Colonel
  • Commander
  • Count
  • Countess
  • Dame
  • Dowager Lady
  • Duchess of
  • Duke
  • Earl
  • Empress
  • Father
  • Fleet Admin
  • Gen
  • Gp Capt
  • Hon
  • Hon Mrs
  • HRH
  • Imam
  • Judge
  • Lady
  • Laird
  • Lieut Colonel
  • Lieutenant
  • Lord
  • Madam
  • Major
  • Major General
  • Marchioness
  • Marquess
  • Mayor
  • Pastor
  • Pc
  • Prince
  • Princess
  • Rabbi
  • Rev
  • Rev Dr
  • Revd Canon
  • Rt Hon
  • Rt Hon Baroness
  • Rt Revd
  • Sergeant
  • Sheikh
  • Sister
  • Sqn Ldr
  • Viscount
  • Viscountess
  • Wg Cd
  • Other

 

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9 Comments

  1. Callum

    I notice they’ve left off “Most Reverend”, which excludes the Archbishops of Canterbury, York, Westminster, Southwark, Birmingham and Liverpool (among others) and also “Very Reverend”, which disenfranchises Cathedral deans up and down the land. Poor show.

    Actually I was asked to fill in such a drop-down box for something once, and one of the options was “The Late”!

  2. Was going to say…I thought this was a good question for John Rentoul

  3. John

    Well actually they’ve missed off ‘HM’ so The Queen would be stuck unfortunately.

  4. Hmm…They also seem to have missed out on plain Dr! Doesn’t that discriminate against doctors (and PhD graduates?)

    • IanVisits

      That’s a typo on my part, as I accidentally merged Dr and Cllr into one line.

  5. Sue

    There’s no rule against impersonating Cardinals, is there? I feel the need to complain and there’s no way I’m going to stick with “Ms” with that lot to choose from….

  6. Chris M

    Men it seems can be plain “Duke” but women are required to be “Duchess of” somewhere?

    WIkipedia suggests that heirs presumpative and heirs apparent to titles in the Scottish peerage should be addressed as (The) Master or (The) Mistress dependent on their gender – titles that do not appear in this list.

    The Venerable archdeacons and Buddhist monks and nuns of the land are also without am entry; as are those properly addressed as “His Holiness” – the Pope, the Dalai Lama and several senior Buddhist monks.

  7. Paul Burkitt-Gray

    The Royal Opera House’s ticket booking form has an even more comprehensive list, including specific tirles for the ambassadors from various different countries.

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