As open-air funerals have now been – sort of – legalised, I propose the following for my own funeral.

Yes, I know it is a really bad bit of photoshopping!

Not only a fantastic way to leave the city, physically as well as spiritually, it could be quite a tourist attraction. Will Mayor Johnson move to support the plan?

Hindu wins Northumberland funeral pyre battle

For the avoidance of doubt, I think the people should be free to select their own method of funeral, so long as it doesn’t cause too much annoyance to other people.

Anyway, I am off to Vikings R Us and looking for the fiery funerals booking form on the Port of London Authority website.

Update

A extra thought: There does seem to be a slight irony in that a law which means a seemingly outdoor area, but bounded by the most flimsy of structures is considered to be “indoors” for the purpose of the anti-smoking laws – has now been used to enable cremations, which will result in quite a considerable amount of smoke being emitted.

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2 comments
  1. Mark says:

    We were only talking about this in the pub at lunchtime. I’d love a Valhalla-style send off too!

  2. Plummy Mummy says:

    Why not go the whole hog and Kirk Douglas like have a proper Viking send off with you being carted on a board along the Embankment before being put on your boat ready for an archer to send a lit arrow into the flag of your ship before it’s pushed off the shore. I for one would be happy to hold a flaming torch on the day to witness the event assuming there are no beached whales in the way. Awesome. As for the Hindu..hooray for him. Now I’ve just got to find a way to have a Red Indian burial as that’s very ecological though the sight of someone having the dead eyes plucked out by a Tower of London raven may just be a bit too much do you think?

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