I am the Very Model of a Modern Model Villager

I am the very model of a modern model villager,
I can see houses, streets, and trains, and all of them in miniature,
I walk around numerous railway stations in order alphabetical,
From Hanton to Maryloo, in order not quite categorical,
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters architectural,
I tower over elevations, both the orthographic and the geometrical,
Around tiny model houses painted in many shades and hues,
Visitors excitedly exclaim their many ahhs and oohs,

[Everyone]
Visitors excitedly exclaim their many ahhs and oohs,
Visitors excitedly exclaim their many ahhs and oohs,
Visitors excitedly exclaim their many ahhs and oohs,

I am very good at bending down to photograph tiny shops from curious angles,
The local newsagents, a pun laden bakers, even a branch of Waitrose,
In short, in matters of houses and trains all of them in miniature,
I am the very model of a modern model villager,

[Everyone]
In short, in matters of houses and trains all of them in miniature,
He is the very model of a modern model villager,

Smoke billows from thatched roofing at times periodical,
While firemen frozen in time fight a fire that’s quite diabolical,
In tiny streets we giant humans look quite preposterous,
As a group of school kids tramp around in manners quite boisterous,
I can watch tiny little trains running around for hours,
Darting nimbly along tracks lain between beds of flowers,
Tiny bands play music most patriotically,

But pause for a well earned break quite frequently,

[Everyone]
But pause for a well earned break quite frequently,
But pause for a well earned break quite frequently,
But pause for a well earned break quite frequently,

I obey tiny signs dotted around telling me to keep off the manicured grass,
I see model school children forever waiting to go into their model class,
In short, in matters of villages and towns all of them in miniature,
I am the very model of a modern model villager,

[Everyone]
In short, in matters of villages and towns all of them in miniature,
He is the very model of a modern model villager,

Trains a plenty race around the village, in numbers scarce to be believed,
So many trains serving so few people, Dr Beeching would be mighty peeved,
Tiny stations and tiny signal boxes, with a giant in case they should misbehave,
A church welcomes its tiny congregation while workers dig a grave,
When I have seen all there is to see, a model railway is still be tried,
Riding around the corners of the village with righteous pride,
People point and gasp and laugh most joyfully,
And when I was caught short, I found a delightful toiletry,
You’ll say a model village visitor has never had a better pee.

[Everyone]
He’ll say a model village visitor has never had a better pee.
He’ll say a model village visitor has never had a better pee.
He’ll say a model village visitor has never had a better pee.

A cable car filled with passengers in size quite tiny but numbers quite vast,
Wouldst make London’s Dangleway feel utterly downcast,
See the news vendor delivering the papers, the headlines never changing,
Outside Enid Blyton’s model home, Noddy waits patiently, enthusiasm never waning,
I may not recognise all the building styles,
But still in matters of villages and towns all of them in miniature,
I am the very model of a modern model village visitor.

[Everyone]
But still in matters of villages and towns all of them in miniature,
He is the very model of a modern model villager.

For my architectural knowledge, though I’m nutty and adventury,
Like the village, only goes back to the beginning of the previous century,
But still in matters of villages and towns all of them in miniature,
I am the very model of a modern model village visitor.

[Everyone]
But still in matters of villages and towns all of them in miniature,
He is the very model of a modern model villager.

END

Bekonscot is about 30 minutes by train from Marylebone station. Entry is a tenner. Contrary to the miniature nature of their subject, you can click on the photos above to enlarge them.