Today I am, as I am often wont to do, sitting in my local branch of Starbucks working away on my laptop. I am dressed as I usually dress, namely in casual clothes, I have my laptop computer in front of me, a coffee beside me and my blackberry-like Nokia phone beeping intermittently.

Normally, I am a telecoms writing, nomadic working web geek.

Today though, something has changed. Not me, but YOU – you’ve all changed, and in doing so, changed me.

I am now a city working office suit who is terrified of being mobbed by the anti-business mafia and decided to wear casual clothes as a disguise.

I am surrounded by a number of fellow casually dressed people all trying to pretend to be casual geeks while their copy of the Financial Times peeks out of their rucksack and they type away on their computers and blackberrys in the way that only serious stern suits can manage.

In fact, the sight of so many people going around in unusually smart casual clothes just makes the absurdity of the whole situation even more surreal.

*Raffia-Mafia is a reference from an early episode of Yes Minister.

I’m in Germany this morning – or so claims The Internetâ„¢. As it happens, I am sitting inside my usual coffee shop in Canary Wharf and sitting at my usual table (after it was vacated by interlopers) – but the internet is convinced that I am in Germany.

As it happens, this is not a new occurrence and every time I log on to the T-Mobile Wi-Fi service in the UK, all the adverts on websites switch to German. Google is usually better at knowing my real location, but even they sometimes get it wrong and just now tried to bounce me over to the German Google website.

As the location data is based on IP address tables, I could understand some glitches, but it does seem that either T-Mobile UK is routing all its internet traffic via a German proxy, which would be very odd – or they are identifying themselves as German to query systems – which would be equally odd.

However, as a diversion – it could once have been possible for me to be sitting in London – and also be in Germany. Where Cannon Street train station now stands used to be a German enclave between the 13th and 15th centuries. Queen Elizabeth 1 finally rescinded their privileges but the land itself remained the property of the Hanse merchants right up to 1853. It was only eventually sold to make way for the train station.

There is a plaque by the train station commemorating this heritage – and a photo of it (take by myself) is on Wikipedia

So – had the internet been around in the 14th century and I was sat inside the German enclave, then the adverts I am seeing today on my web browser would indeed be correct. But I am not – so they are wrong.

(Oh, and the Y button on my laptop seems to be glitchy this morning – damn)

They seem to play his Dance Tonight song every half hour in my local branch. I’ve noticed this trend in the past, but never heard enough of the lyrics to be able to Google and find out what the name of the song was.

I guess they might be doing it so as to dissuade the mad ex-wife from visiting?

It’s getting a bit annoying though.

I remember nearly a decade ago when the garish orange colours of the EasyEverything internet cafes started appearing in London and was thinking about that this morning a bit.

I was an early adopter of the internet and amongst us cool people, there was a slight sneering attitude to the internet cafe – although I once used one once when I was out and had just had a phone call offering me a job and I was desperate to tell people about my good fortune.

It did seem though to be a very exciting time, as more and more people were being introduced to the wonders of websites and emails – although their busiest times were apparently late at night when half drunk young adults who hadn’t found a random shag in the pubs/clubs logged onto the internet chatrooms in a last gasp chance to score for the evening.

Supplies of Nescafe coffee or coke drinks helped sober the teens up to the level that they might actually be competent in bed if they did manage to pull in the cafes.

Eventually, though computer costs started to fall to more affordable levels – then the emergence of ADSL which didn’t need a visit from the teleco engineer or cost a fortune pretty much killed off the idea of the internet cafe.

Or did it?

While you wont find an internet cafe on every high street as once seemed almost the case – you will find a coffee shop or bookstore on every high street, and they invariably offer Wi-Fi internet access.

As I sit here this morning in the coffee shop, I am surrounded by people tapping away on their laptops, checking emails and websites and working on spreadsheets.

I am sitting in an internet cafe!

The market has changed from a venue which provided cheap computers and vile coffee to a venue which offers decent (or at least passable) coffee and you supply your own laptop computer.

So, the internet cafe never really went away, it just replaced cheap nasty shops covered in post it signage – or the garish orange of the Easy Group, with the sofas and more subtle hues of the coffee chains.

Amusingly (or not), I just visited the EasyInternetCafe website – as the company is still limping along. At the bottom of the website is the usual “we recommend” blurb about which web browser to use.

They recommend – get ready for this – Internet Explorer 4.0.

A press release from the Thames Innovation Centre arrived this morning, which is actually quite interesting in what it is saying. The release comments on a plan to create a new UK science park that addresses environmental concerns on the outskirts of London. The Thames Innovation Centre is the first of a number of eco buildings to be built at Veridion Park in Erith, which is an area in need of economic regeneration.

The £8.2M Thames Innovation Centre is a stylish and well equipped building, housing a range of high quality offices and work spaces as well as IT training facilities, conference rooms and even a coffee shop.

Even a coffee shop? Blimy, such luxuries are scarce to be believed and I am sure that people will be desperate to relocate to the venue now that this astonishing development has been announced.

Sorry for the sarcasm – I’m sure it’s a very nice coffee shop.