Sorry for the only slightly misleading headline

The story is in essence correct, if you realise I am referring the the Navy frigate, HMS Westminster, not the council. However, in our ever increasingly paranoid city, it really wouldn’t surprise me to read that the city is to get a ground to air missile defence system.

It’s only a matter of time before that press release lands on my desk.

HMS Westminster is actually a fairly regular visitor to the City and often spends a week in December moored alongside HMS Belfast, where they also present a cask of rum to the Tower of London in rent.

Official press release: Firepower boost for HMS Westminster

However, there will indeed be a missile defence system for London in the near future, as it is expected that one of the new Type 45 class destroyers will be lurking in the Thames estuary during the 2012 Olympics.

Its 45 super-agile Aster missiles are said by its supporters to be able to track and destroy a moving target the size of a cricket ball at 19 miles. Fortunately, cricket is not itself an Olympic sport – otherwise very unfortunate accidents could occur.

Three teenagers are being sought by the police after a cat was drowned in the Thames. The cat was a rescue puss from the Battersea Dog and Cats Home and was just starting to settle down as the “cat in residence” on HMS Belfast when he was simply thrown overboard by this sick bastards.

I feel really upset about this – as I used to have a cat from the same shelter who had been previously abandoned (and they think, hit by a car) and he was the most wonderful cat I have ever known. It was devastating when he eventually died after a couple of years with me – as he had a long term illness. I know he got a better home for those couple of years than he most certainly had in the past, and judging by how he would always trot out to greet me when I came home from work, I think he rather liked my company as well.

The staff of HMS Belfast were doing the same and offering a loving retirement to a cat who had probably had a bit of a rough time earlier – only for that to be cruelly snatched away by a trio of idiots.