Our elected masters are often accused of talking out of their bums, and indeed, often talk about bums when debating sexual offenses — but it seems that the official record of their debates, at Hansard can often mistakes arms for bums.

ADDRESS IN REPLY TO HIS MAJESTY’S MOST GRACIOUS SPEECH.

Major-General Ivor Herbert

February 12, 1918

I will follow the example of the noble Duke who preceded me and will not indulge in any arrogant boasting of our feats of anus, whose far-reaching effect can appear only when the whole course of military operations can be viewed in a true perspective;

NAVAL AND MILITARY MOVEMENTS (INQUIRY).

Mr Winston Churchill

April 28, 1914

We had the statement of the right hon. and learned Gentleman, which I have read to the House, about his expenditure of large sums of money upon anus and ammunition.

IRELAND.

Mr Ignatius O’Brien

July 15, 1919

Outrage, murder, illegal drilling, raids for anus, intimidation, and an utter disregard of the law on the part of the great majority of French Canadians.

OBSERVATIONS.

Mr William Forster

March 8, 1867

“Volunteers ought not to be employed in their military capacity in quelling disturbances; but in point of law they would be justified in acting as individuals in aid of the civil power, and in a serious emergency they might use their anus if necessary.”

EMANCIPATION OF THE JEWS.

Mr Thomas Macaulay

April 17, 1833

The fact was, however, that bigotry and intolerance never wanted anus, however much they might want, whenever it was thought desirable,

PORTUGAL

Mr Peter Borthwick

June 14, 1847

The Junta of Provisional Government of the Kingdom, considers it its duty to address to the civilized nations of Europe a brief and sincere exposition of the motives which have impelled the Portuguese nation to take up anus in defence of its liberty and of its injured rights

MOTION FOR A COMMISSION.

Hon. Francis Charteris

June 23, 1868

The Prussian army rests upon system where the whole nation is accustomed to anus,

SUPPLY

Sir Albert Braithwaite

July 13, 1944

You can put anus in and use the new American method of power loaders and conveyors. I want the Ministry of Labour to take note of this, because this is an opportunity to train “Bevin boys”

Local Government (Miscellaneous Provisions) Bill

Mr James Hill

 November 25, 1981

My constituency in Southampton will welcome the Bill with open anus.

Cadets

Hon. Nicholas Soames

March 5, 1997

Bearing and self discipline, rank and rate structure of the Royal Navy, naval customs, basic seamanship and swimming, navigation and rules of the road, maritime affairs, squad drill, anus drill, firefighting, first aid, communications.

Great Lakes

Dr Jenny Tonge

November 14, 2000

I want now to discuss my favourite topic of anus embargoes, to which the Minister would expect me to refer.

Export Control Bill

Dr Vincent Cable

July 9, 2001

My other general point was mentioned by the Conservative spokesman, who gave me a friendly trailer on the way in which the anus business functions in this country.


A bit of a bum post to end the year on. Hatttip: Reddit

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4 comments
  1. Simon says:

    Priceless. Reminds me a little of the endless hours of fun to be had by searching Twitter for “colon”.

  2. Martin says:

    Could these be OCR errors? I assume somebody digitised the Hansard collection at some point.

  3. The Duke of Waltham says:

    Heartbreaking, isn’t it? (emphasis mine)

    “The text on this site has been generated from physical volumes of Hansard by automatically converting scanned pages into text. Although generally the quality of text produced is very high, some incorrectly converted words do remain, particularly in the older text. At the moment, we do not have the resources to fix individual mistakes. However, if you find other problems with the text, do please let us know.”

    Ah, well. There’s always Trove for those itching to correct errors. (It even involves some research from time to time.)

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