Another batch of PR junk emails

I haven’t done one of these for a while, but it’s about time as I seem to be getting a lot more junk recently.

To be clear, if all you want to do if fluff up a travel client or hotel – go away!

Any decent PR agency reads the blog to see if it is likely to be relevant before contacting the author – and there are some great PR people out there whom I get on well with.

The emails below are from PR agencies that are not so good.

[newspaper brand] are searching for writers and bloggers that have got something to say about the Olympics to contribute to our 2012 coverage. Having looked high and low, reviewing blogs and searching out sport professionals, we found your website and would love it if you would like to get involved.

Flattering, but you are asking me to write about sports – which I have never written about and of which I know next to nothing.

Whilst you will not be paid for your posts, you will be set up with a profile page linking to your blog or website and your social media accounts

Oh, you want free content to pad out your own advertising revenues, and I’ll get a weblink in exchange. Links to websites aren’t that valuable.

Attention Bloggers,

Great way to start there with a nicely personalised email.

We have an exciting opportunity to give away 5 tickets to a launch event at [hotel chain]. [some brand name] @ [hotel chain] will be mixing the coolest tunes, with old-school tracks and eclectic beats from 8pm-9.30pm every Sunday night.

I’m not even sure what eclectic beats are, let alone why anyone is mixing them.

Remember it’s just 5 tickets and im afraid it will be a first come first serve basis.

Oh darn it, just as I was getting interested.

We are looking to place a guest blog post on a Travel site and I think your website would be ideal!

You managed to read the page on this website where you got my email address from and states that I am not a travel blog, and don’t accept guest blog posts and still sent me that email?

You also sent me the same email 30 minutes after I replied saying I wasn’t interested.

I was just wondering if you’re covering the Oxford vs. Cambridge Boat Race as a major event happening in London and if so, are you interested in telling your readers about other things to do if they’re planning to spend the day in Putney?

I might be – are you talking about anything unusual or genuinely interesting? The sort of thing that having read my blog sounds like it would appeal to my readers?

If so, there’s an interesting sports footwear shop called [name of store] – that’s worth a look at – especially as this is Olympic year & there’s an increased interest in keeping fit.

Oh, and you read my website and thought that I would be interested in shoes? You even chased me on Twitter to see what I thought.

I hope you don’t mind but I just wanted to let you know about a really cool inforgraphic about the Mobile Phone Habits of Travellers.

Trust me I do mind.

I am writing from [kettle and toaster manufacturer] and I would like to discuss a promotion we are doing at the moment.

One idea would be is that we could give you exclusive unique content in the run-up to the launch and while the competition was running.

You want to put guest posts on my blog to promote your toaster range?

The [tourism agency] will launch a brand new UK campaign by transporting five large ice blocks into the Canary Wharf area. Located just outside the London Underground exit, the ice blocks will encase colourful swimwear in a promotion designed to get Londoners to defrost their swimsuit, thaw out and visit the sunnier climes of [some place in the USA].

Bikinis in ice blocks may have sounded of interest to tabloid newspaper editors, but not this writer.

My name is Raheem and I am working with a company within the travel space. I would love to write a guest post for your blog – something you haven’t posted on before – and I have a few ideas that I think your readers would love:

Sorry Raheem, not only did you offer exactly what I am not interested in, but even tried to argue with me a bit in subsequent emails about whether I am a travel blog.

I want to invite you on a hot date. Dinner at a beautiful cocktail in SoHo and VIP dancing at [some award wining nightclub]. Blah, blah, blah

You spent a lot of effort assuring me that everyone involved in the project is gay, and that you are offering an amazing competition involving interior design – which is not at all stereotypically gay.

All we ask in return is that you do a feature about [client name] and the competition on your blog.

However, sexuality aside and the admittedly friendly nature of the email, dinner and cocktails at any nightclub is my idea of the very definition of Hell.

Oh well, time to start collecting the next batch of dubious emails.

Diamond Geezer does this rather better than I do.