By command of the Lord High Sheriff of Stratford, the publisher of scurrilous online pamphlets, known to the public by the pseudonymous identify of IanVisits has been sentenced to death after being found guilty of not holding any interest in the London 2012 Olympics™.
Upon questioning by the OlympicFinder General last week, the accused did utter views that were found to be discordant with Lord Coe’s declaration of unlimited enthusiasm for the forthcoming Rapturous events in the Holy Stadium.
Most heinously, the accused did disclaim any interest in the Great Rite that will open the hallowed events this August and in vain attempt to disclaim his guilt, even suggested that that others of the populace of London share his views that the fireworks that crown the glorious event are the only aspect of any interest to them.
While held in public dock and under questioning by the Prosecutor, the public were in uproar at his sinful exclamations and were oft censured by the Judge to silence.
When shoewn a list of the glorious events, the defendant didst claim to have no interest in watching people swim up and down a pool, or watching athletes running around a race track. He did even disclaim any interest in observing people leap over a pole.
Found guilty, the defendant has been spared the punishment of being hanged, drawn and quartered by the mercy of the Court and will be simply hung by the neck until dead.
Sentence to be carried out at Tyburn Gallows this coming Sunday at Noon.
GOD SAVE THE QUEEN