I am advised that people in polyester branded clothing were handing out free Cadbury’s Flakes at various train stations around London this morning. As a non-commuter I no longer see these things happening, but when I did I was always amused to watch the baying mob rush to get whatever free thing is on offer.

Doesn’t matter what it is, so long as it is free.

The Flake is however, one of those products where the advertising is iconic, but the product is a complete disappointment.

I’ve never had a flake that crumbles and flakes as I would expect it to.

Add in that it is made from yeuky Cadbury’s so called “chocolate” just adds to the disapointment.

From the advert, I am expecting a dark latin sexy chocolate that sends me to undreamed of heights of pleasure as I slowly break into a sharp crisp flake of delight.

What I usually get is a stick of preservatives and flavourings with a bland chocolate like taste and that acts more like a squidgy bar of brown gloop.

Now, here’s an idea – why not make the Flake live up to the marketing?

Bring out a genuine dark high coca solids based flake that really is the sort of chocolate that has you wanting to slide into a bath for a luxurious soak – while the telephone rings with a lizard running around the place.

Cadbury’s owns Green & Blacks – bring out a G&B version of the Flake.

Now that is something I would rush to get my hands on if handed out in train stations.

 

Note for Diamond Geezer readers -  no I did not get an email from them asking me to write about their product, it just happens this is a thought I have had for some time, and was reminded of it this morning ;)

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3 Comments

  1. Have you ever tried putting a flake in a microwave? It doesn’t actually melt, just slowly hardens until the sugar burns.

    A flake is a good example of what the industry likes to call ‘mouth-feel’ acting as a substitute for taste. ‘Crumbly’ and ‘flakey’ “taste like chocolate never tasted before”, but these are about texture rather than flavour. Though as you say, a flake doesn’t really have either of these.

    Making a flake with just good chocolate would be a technical challenge though – they can do it with a flake because the vegetable fat gives it enough structure.

    Maybe this is one for the likes of Heston Blumenthal? Or perhaps one of our new wave of top chocolatiers, like Paul A Young, who has already created a posh version of a walnut whip.

  2. If you are ever in the United States, please, I beg of you for your own good, DO NOT try a Cadbury bar of any kind. It’s much, much worse than your “real” Cadbury. Three different people requested that I bring Cadbury chocolate back to the States from my recent London trip because it is so much better there. I fear that American Cadbury might thrust you into a deep depression.

  3. A workmate of mine was apparently one of those in the crowd as she arrived at work and gave her Flake to me. I’ve never had it before and so was delighted at free chocolate that I did not have to queue for!

    Yes, like you say, it’s bitter disappointment. It’s one big sickly-sweet gloop. Seems more like they were giving out samples so people will never buy them themselves.

    Maura, when I was in HK, all English men/women I know bring back hordes of Cadbury as well whenever they make a trip home, and then all others who did not would gather round the goodies panting. OK, maybe not the panting part.

    But interestingly enough, now that I’m in London and have tasted “real” Cadbury”, I still don’t get the difference. They taste the same to me. Hmmm.

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